"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. " Jeremiah 29:11
As far back as I can remember I had an oversized imagination. In my very early childhood, I would dream aloud; dreaming more in my awake-hours than if I were asleep. This would give me the exclusive privilege of having incredible conversations with the imaginary whomever's my dreams included and whatever my dream entailed.
The downside of these magical moments is that I started believing them. And, when we begin to believe what we imagine we will either start living a lie or live in an expectant state of unreality. For me it was the former; I began to verbalize the life I imagined. It didn't take long for me to become 'the biggest little liar' in my made-up world.
It would be lovely to paint this period of my journey with rainbow colors. But in the energy of 'Keeping it Real', the authentic report is, I lied my way through my childhood. Anything that looked ugly to me, I painted it pretty. And anything that was desirable but unreachable, i imagined it as though I already obtained it.
If you're still reading this you may wonder - well that sounds like a very positive outlook for a child to have. And plausibly so. However, if 'positive' is based on imagined facts and not profound truths, you can end up with a warped sense of reality, which brings me to another important milestone in my journey.
Interspersed in my magical imaginative world were some actual experiences. Real visions! I would close my eyes to sleep and had actual encounters that seemed like dreams but were so real it impacted me physically and in retrospect, spiritually as well. But then again, I didn't place as much importance on those dreams because I couldn't manipulate them. I couldn't make them any more magical than they really were. They were actually spiritual experiences taking place when I was still, sleeping, and not in control.
But as I journeyed to the brink of chronological maturity, around the age of 19 or so, something shifted. I realized that the part of me that I couldn't manipulate was the part I should pay more attention to. So in continuous curiosity, I probed my spiritual self very passionately. I found an intimate spot with my creator. I knew Him by name and loved Him by choice.
During this exciting transition I met my Savior. Believed in Him, made a choice to follow Him and just did not want to be without Him. "Why is He so important", you may ask, "and what did He save you from?"
The most apparent rescue was the falsehood and unhealthy lifestyle that reeked of vanity and foolishness.
If you're curious about what happened to my wild imagination, well it didn't go away magically because it was a real part of who I had become. So I asked God about it.
Intellect and logic placed a heavy conviction on me that I was spooked and schizophrenic, because now I had included God in my huge imagination. But intellect and logic lost their case in the shift and I became a real admirer of truth and reality. I challenged my desires by surrendering them to God and desiring His will instead of mine.
Well, you may ask "how is that working for you?" To which I answer - 'indescribably well!' I am learning to deal with the metamorphosis in my journey from an earthworm to a painted-winged butterfly. And oh, in case you're wondering about my storytelling language, it's really not magical anymore; it's believable and heavenly!